Only 19

Damn I look at my son today and think that at the age of 21 he is still my baby - he is older than the average age of the blokes who went to vietnam - they enlisted, served and died at an age younger than he is today
They were babies making decisions of "lifetimes"
How can we deny them?

My Room My Tomb

I have been awarded, hypothosized over, scritinized with this poem so I thought I'd share it - written many years ago when i was 19 and full of whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is my Tomb -
My room
Four walls surround me
Enclosing,
Enveloping,
Suffocating at times -
Where is the key?
Emotion is my room ....
Feelings are my tomb ....
This is my tomb
My room .....
A Self - Imposed Exile!

Oh my having my son of course

"What's the most memorable thing in your life?"
that's the question as I find most amazing in itself from people who know me to my core
My son's birth of course!!!!
Other than that it's all mixed up - responsibility to the vets, our family, our friends who have no conception
It's a mixed up world for us NOK - who do we believe in? who do we trust with our utmost thoughts than in some areas could be classified as treason, who do we continue contact with as friends/allies?
NO-ONE - we have no one for ourselves to believe in or them us, and we end up bringing up our kids as the only people too
In turn we teach them not to trust - god damn generation twice removed from vietnam and they are wearing the legacy too - with pride yet with condemnation too
We only want a reason to believe - the vets, the moritorium protestors, our family - none give us that reason to believe in all that may be true - all we want is for someone to say its okay to believe like we do - that the world aint so bad a place to be
God damn I've saved so many vets from committing suicide etc and here I feel on the brink onceagain on and there is only those that need more than me -- forever and ever and ever
When is it my turn? When will I travel under the light of another path not one under the shadow of vietnam?

Honouring our service personnel - past and present

daughter of KIA

The life as a daughter of an early Vietnam war KIA was never an easy one. My Mother had a major guilt trip over the fact that she'd remarried (no matter how many years later) and even today, me as a 41yr old woman, I get "shushed" by her when I mention my Dad infront of my Stepfather although it's all cool between me and my best mate/stepdad.

I was of an age, that come '70-'71 when the moritorium advocates were at their peak, I was starting yet again another new school - and I was not miss popular at all not because I was still a military brat but because I was a proud patriotic brat with no connection to the services any longer - hence I copped shit from all sides - didn't have the support from the civvies or military alike - we were alone, kicked outa our army housing coz neither my parents were army anymore

My Dad died when I was four and my brother one, my Mum broke down in the process over and over and stayed that way for a good time - if she's ever really gotten over it that is so there were many times I was living with other people, going to school with their kids and they all had smart mouths

People asked me for many years continually "What would I have done?" God damn, fought a bloody war of course if I'd been old enough (which I did try at the age of 10 when Siagon surrendered but that's another story) These people watched for me to break even while as a teenager at the cinemas, seeing Gone with the Wind for god's sake - 40 plus years later about a war nothing to do with me and here were these "do-gooders" waiting for something from me, anything so that they could do their good deed for the day.

I'm a proud military brat and I shall remain one - continually warping my children's views in the meantime - I come from proud australian marine/army (splattering of other services too) stock both the men and the women of my family signed up and I will not change that attitude for anyone - welcome to my world.

My aunts and great aunts, great grans and beyond, have all enlisted through the 20th century let alone our blokes - I am 8th generation Australian Caucasion, decendant from a Marine on the First Fleet to Australia 1788 yet also from 5 other convict settlers, one who's son was the founder of Melbourne, Victoria - it's our heritage, our legacy, the way it is - I have too much proud blue blood in me to bow to these people whether from the 70's or today

And to stand up as any of the adults did (more so from me i recon) during the unrest times of vietnam - that's what I did as a girl - be grown up in my answers, my reations at least; that is what I remember the most

I remember being abused by them all (physically and verbally) and I was only a kid wanting to be able to remember the father she'd lost so tragically

"You have to like her coz her dad died in vietnam" - talking about others to me but not about me - they said they didn't like me

"If you'd been old enough, would you have enlisted, deserted, or fought the draft?"

"You aint got a dad!!!!"

"Your dad's guilty as charged coz he was regular soldier career man" - baby killer etc

"You can wear this coz I wouldn't see my own daughter dead in this"

"Your Mum's in a luny bin what would u know"

"Why are you like this, why dont we like you? Vietnam kid of course"

Damn as I write this, I remember the hurt that I haven't thought of for years

I was always "That Girl" - damn no wonder I loved the sitcom amongst others and the music of the Seekers at the time - "Georgie girl" etc - all made me feel better about myself and who i was

And I remember them all with their inane comments that I could recognise even then for what they were - I was trash coz my dad was a career military man, I was dirt coz he was in Vietnam and I was the shit end of the shovel when they found out that he'd died there and boy did they let me know it - for years - til 1980 at least when I left school

After that I got the "devil-may-care-attitude" (FU one for those that 10/4) and today still find myself the talk of the town because of my attitude and antics

I have no love for the anti-war/moritorium protestors of the day for a couple reasons

Firstly, they havent grown up - Still today they hold beliefs I find amazing. This day and age of information and they still sit upon their lorels from the 60's and give us all still shit in the meantime

Secondly, They relive the day just as much as the veterans or us kids do, without justification as far as I am concerned but they believe they dont have a problem - we do!!

Thirdly, they haven't let go - and continue to argue the same stuff with no update info - and are deaf to any who can point out corrections - mate they'd rather pick up your husband than admit they may have been wrong as a kid themselves 30 yr ago

Fourthly - get em with the vets and its like a reunion - none want to let go coz it takes em back to a time they saw at least as being interesting/worthy in their lives - they are poison when with broken family of veterans - broken coz of the way these same people treated them 30 yr ago - today they still dont care who they hurt in the meantime

Lastly - Antiwar protestors dont give a shit about no one but themselves, and if you want to argue that one fine just think - what percentage of protestors from the late 60's/70's have money, life, a home to go to TODAY compared to the vietnam veterans of the day - they never saw or felt the harm they did to so many innocent people (us kids in particular and more so to the returning service personnel) which spilt over to other's opinions and their treatment of all - shit in hell they taught their children to talk the talk, walk the walk - of the antiwar protestors - just happened to be a way different path than the one I was travelling along with all my vet mates, uncles, god parents - men and women both coz i do come from a long line of nurses too who went to war and were treated the same as the blokes

Today I find myself in my 40's still trying to get over something that I didn't have a say in - I wasn't conscripted but Vietnam is the legacy I live by - even now.

Some times, I don't have love for the Vetmen that I worship so much either - many times through their own problems they forget that we are here, or that it is we who will continue and carry the legacy they fought for - damn somedays they are all just arseholes!!!!! But I love and respect the life of the military man - wish he could see that sometimes

'Sides from that the only person that understood, loved me for who i am and finally married me - a vietnam vet 12 yr my senior - we understand each other and upon reading this piece he cried

Hope I touched your hearts and made u think about stuff - Fight to stay who u are just like all did in 60-70's - we have that right on our own behalf today

Cosgrove to retire

Contrary to media reporting, General Peter Cosgrove, Chief of the Defence Force, has not resigned. > >In a recent interview with The Bulletin magazine, General Cosgrove confirmed his term as Chief of the Defence Force will cease at midnight on the 3rd of July 2005. At that time, General Cosgrove will retire from the Australian Defence Force. > >He will retire after more than 40 years of dedicated service to the Nation.

keeping it aussie

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Always with Respect and Honour

Serving Their Country
Brave men and women of all nations have fought for right and just causes. Some came home, others did not.
By flying the Australian Flag, not just on commemoration days, but everyday displays more than patriotism - be proud of our servicemen and fly the flag in their honour especially for those who died under her colours

Advance Australia Fair
Australians all let us rejoice
For we are young and gree
We've golden soil and wealth for toil
Our home is girl by sea
Our land abounds in nature's gifts
Of beauty rich and rare
In history's page let every stage
Advance Australia Fair
In joyful strains then let us sing
Advance Australia Fair.
Beneath our radiant Southern Cross
We'll toil with hearts and hands
To make this commonwealth of ours
Renowned of all the lands,
For those who've come across the seas
We've boundless plains to share
With courage let us all combine
To Advance Australia Fair
In joyful strains then let us sing
Advance Australia Fair


With Australia Day 2005 so near, I thought I'd put in the words for those Aussies who STILL do not know them